I have suffered from manic depression for as long as I can keep in mind. My earliest childhood recollections are tainted with the ominous occurrence of my illness inspite growing up in a very caring home with two kinds and nurturing parents. After having a divorce in my early thirties, I found me personally unable to handle the feelings of sadness that had permeated my existence and often left me unable to get up.
Of course, these feelings had intensified consequently because of my divorce, but even well before I knew that something was not quite right. I actually visited a psychiatrist and my doctor, both of whom asked me when my symptoms began. I actually explained that I was fairly certain they started the day I was born, which both advised me was entirely possible.
Since that time, I have tried different types of medications. From SSRI’s to MAO inhibitors, I’ve tried so many medications that I sometimes experienced like a guinea pig. I finally found a medication that was effective for me and produced very few noticeable side effects. I am now enjoying life more than I actually ever have and can honestly say that I actually feel like I never thought I would or even could.
Enjoying life now is some how bittersweet as I look back again over all the past years that I spent in bipolar depression without even knowing that it wasn’t natural. I knew something was not the same simply from watching the behavior of others and comparing it to me, but I always considered it to be my personality or “just the way I am”. I want to encourage others who experience expanded bouts of feeling down to get more information about depression. There are several resources available on the internet, and even your primary care physician can be of great assistance in supporting you to determine if you suffer from depression. He or she can suggest that you talk to a specialist.
Had I actually known that my problem was correctable, I would have spent many more years enjoying my life instead of wondering why all others was enjoying theirs. Depression is manageable, and you too can enjoy a happy, effective life.
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