I have been affected by depression for as long as I can bear in mind. My earliest childhood memories are tainted with the ominous presence of my illness inspite growing up in a very adoring home with two kinds and nurturing parents. After having a divorce in my mid thirties, I found me personally unable to cope with the feelings of sadness that had permeated my living and often left me unable to get out of bed.
Of course, these feelings got intensified consequently because of my divorce, but even prior to I knew that something wasn’t quite right. I went to see a psychiatrist and my doctor, both of whom questioned me when my symptoms started. I actually explained that I was fairly certain they started the day I was born, which both informed me was entirely possible.
Since that time, I actually have tried different kinds of medications. From SSRI’s to MAO inhibitors, I have tried a lot of medications that I sometimes sensed like a guinea pig. I finally found a medication that was effective for me and produced very few noticeable side effects. I am now experiencing good life more than I actually ever have and can honestly say that I actually feel like I never thought I would or even could.
Enjoying life now is some how bittersweet as I look back again over all the past years that I spent in depression without even knowing that it was not normal. I knew something was not the same simply from watching the behavior of other people and comparing it to me, but I always considered it to be my personality or “just the way I am”. I want to advice others who experience prolonged bouts of sadness to get more guidelines on depression. There are a lot of resources found on the internet, and even your primary care physician can be of good assistance in helping one to determine if you suffer from deep depression. He or she could suggest that you speak to a specialist.
Had I actually known that my problem was treatable, I would have spent many more years enjoying my life rather than wondering why everyone else was enjoying theirs. Depression is manageable, and you can also enjoy a happy, productive life.
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