I have suffered from depression for as long as I can bear in mind. My earliest childhood memories are tainted with the ominous presence of my depression inspite growing up in a very adoring home with two types and caring parents. After having a divorce in my mid thirties, I found myself unable to cope with the feelings of sadness that had permeated my presence and often left myself unable to get out of bed.
Of course, these feelings had intensified consequently because of my divorce, but even prior to I knew that something was not quite right. I went to see a psycho therapist and my doctor, both of whom asked me when my symptoms started. I explained that I was fairly certain they started the day I was born, which both informed me was entirely possible.
Since that time, I actually have tried different types of medications. From SSRI’s to MAO inhibitors, I’ve tried so many medications that I sometimes experienced like a guinea pig. I finally found a medication that worked for me and produced very few noticeable side effects. I am now experiencing good life more than I ever have and can honestly say that I actually feel like I never thought I might or even could.
Enjoying my life now is somewhat bittersweet as I look back again over all the years that I spent in bipolar depression without even knowing that it wasn’t normal. I knew something was different simply from viewing the behavior of other people and comparing it to mine, but I always considered it to be my personality or “just the way I am”. I want to encourage others who experience expanded bouts of sadness to get more information about depression. There are a lot of resources found on the web, and even your primary care physician could be of great assistance in supporting one to determine if you suffer from deep depression. He or she can suggest that you speak to a specialist.
Had I actually known that my depression was correctable, I would have spent many more years enjoying my life rather than wondering why everybody else was enjoying theirs. Depression is treatable, and you can also enjoy a happy, successful life.
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