I have been affected by depression for as long as I can keep in mind. My earliest childhood remembrances are tainted with the ominous occurrence of my depression despite growing up in a very loving home with two types and nurturing parents. After having a divorce in my mid thirties, I found myself unable to cope with the feelings of feeling down that had permeated my living and often left myself unable to get out of bed.
Of course, these feelings had intensified consequently because of my divorce, but even some time before I knew that something wasn’t quite right. I actually visited a psychiatrist and my doctor, both of whom asked me when my symptoms began. I explained that I was fairly certain they began the day I was born, which both advised me was completely possible.
Since that time, I actually have tried different types of medications. From SSRI’s to MAO inhibitors, I have tried so many medications that I sometimes felt like a guinea pig. I finally discovered a medication that worked for me and produced very few noted side effects. I am now enjoying life more than I ever have and can honestly say that I actually feel like I never thought I would or even could.
Enjoying my life now is somewhat bittersweet as I look back again over all the past years that I spent in bipolar depression without even knowing that it was not normal. I knew something was not the same simply from watching the behavior of other people and comparing it to myself, but I always thought of it to be my personality or “just the way I am”. I want to encourage others who experience prolonged bouts of feeling down to get more advice on depression. There are several resources available on the internet, and even your primary care physician could be of great assistance in helping you to determine if you suffer from depression. He or she may suggest that you talk to a specialist.
Had I known that my depression was treatable, I would have spent many more years enjoying my life rather than wondering why all others was enjoying theirs. Depression is manageable, and you too can enjoy a happy, productive life.
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