I have been affected by manic depression for as long as I can bear in mind. My earliest childhood recollections are tainted with the ominous presence of my depression despite growing up in a very caring home with two kinds and nurturing parents. After a divorce in my mid thirties, I found me personally unable to cope with the feelings of sadness that had permeated my presence and often left myself unable to get up.
Of course, these feelings got intensified as a result of my divorce, but even well before I knew that something was not quite right. I actually visited a psycho therapist and my doctor, both of whom questioned me when my symptoms began. I explained that I was fairly certain they started out the day I was born, which both advised me was totally possible.
Since that time, I actually have tried a variety of medications. From SSRI’s to MAO inhibitors, I have tried so many medications that I sometimes felt like a guinea pig. I finally found a medication that was effective for me and produced very few noted side effects. I am now enjoying life more than I ever have and can honestly say that I actually feel like I never thought I would or even could.
Enjoying my life now is some how bittersweet as I look back over all the years that I spent in bipolar depression without even knowing that it was not normal. I knew something was different simply from observing the behavior of others and comparing it to mine, but I always considered it to be my personality or “just the way I am”. I want to advice others who experience expanded bouts of sadness to get more advice on depression. There are several resources found on the internet, and even your primary care physician could be of good assistance in supporting one to determine if you suffer from deep depression. He or she can recommend that you talk to a specialist.
Had I actually known that my depression was treatable, I would have spent lots of years enjoying my life instead of wondering why everybody else was enjoying theirs. Depression is treatable, and you can also enjoy a happy, successful life.
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