I have suffered from depression for as long as I can bear in mind. My earliest childhood memories are tainted with the ominous occurrence of my depression inspite growing up in a very adoring home with two kinds and nurturing parents. After a divorce in my mid thirties, I found myself unable to manage the feelings of feeling down that had permeated my living and often left myself unable to get up.
Of course, these feelings had intensified as a result of my divorce, but even prior to I knew that something wasn’t quite right. I actually went to see a psychologist and my doctor, both of whom questioned me when my symptoms began. I actually explained that I was fairly certain they started out the day I was born, which both informed me was completely possible.
Since that time, I have tried a variety of medications. From SSRI’s to MAO inhibitors, I’ve tried so many treatments that I sometimes sensed like a guinea pig. I finally found a medication that was effective for me and produced very few noticeable side effects. I am now enjoying life more than I ever have and can honestly say that I actually feel like I never thought I might or even could.
Enjoying life now is some how bittersweet as I look back over all the years that I spent in bipolar depression without even knowing that it was not normal. I knew something was not the same simply from viewing the behavior of other people and comparing it to me, but I always considered it to be my personality or “just the way I am”. I want to advice others who experience expanded bouts of sadness to get more guidelines on bipolar depression. There are several resources found on the web, and even your primary care physician could be of good assistance in supporting one to determine if you suffer from deep depression. He or she can suggest that you speak to a specialist.
Had I known that my depression was correctable, I would have spent many more years enjoying my life rather than wondering why everyone else was enjoying theirs. Depression is manageable, and you too can enjoy a happy, successful life.
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