I have been affected by depression for as long as I can bear in mind. My earliest childhood recollections are tainted with the ominous presence of my illness despite growing up in a very caring home with two types and nurturing parents. After a divorce in my mid thirties, I found myself unable to handle the feelings of feeling down that had permeated my living and often left me personally unable to get up.
Of course, these feelings had intensified consequently because of my divorce, but even well before I knew that something wasn’t quite right. I went to see a psycho therapist and my doctor, both of whom questioned me when my symptoms started. I explained that I was fairly certain they began the day I was born, which both told me was entirely possible.
Since that time, I actually have tried a variety of medications. From SSRI’s to MAO inhibitors, I have tried a lot of medications that I sometimes experienced like a guinea mouse. I finally discovered a treatment that was effective for me and produced very few noted side effects. I am now enjoying life more than I actually ever have and can honestly say that I feel like I never thought I might or even could.
Enjoying life now is some how bittersweet as I look back again over all the past years that I spent in bipolar depression without even knowing that it wasn’t normal. I knew something was different simply from observing the behavior of other people and comparing it to mine, but I always considered it to be my personality or “just the way I am”. I want to encourage others who experience extended bouts of sadness to get more guidelines about bipolar depression. There are a lot of resources available on the internet, and even your primary care physician can be of great assistance in supporting you to determine if you suffer from deep depression. He or she can suggest that you talk to a specialist.
Had I actually known that my depression was correctable, I would have spent lots of years enjoying my life instead of wondering why everybody else was enjoying theirs. Depression is treatable, and you can also enjoy a happy, successful life.
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